Yesterday, I started walking at the track across from my apartment complex. It was so nice and rejuvenating to be out in the crisp morning air on a pretty day. It was probably about 82 degrees as it was still early in the day. I felt good. I made a conscious effort to absorb the experience and it was grand. I walked for about 35 minutes. I was going to do at least an hour, but because I started to feel numbness in my left leg. I walked off the track a little earlier than I had anticipated. I was able to get out and do something.
Later in the day, I felt like a Mack truck had hit me and I was regretting my earlier decision to get out and get moving. It was like I had ran a marathon. I decided after feeling this way, I would not walk again. It wasn't until I was climbing into bed last night that I realized, I have spent days walking for hours at WalMart and doing other things. Although, I felt terrible later in the day yesterday. I just need to tweak things a little. I can start walking in the evening, therefore when I am done, I can shower and relax a little without having other tasks to attend to. I just can't give up after one day. I have to do this for my health. There are a number of people who are counting on my being alive and I need not do anything to rush my life on away. I have stopped buying, therefore eating, sweets. That is a very hard thing for me. I may have mentioned this before, but sugar is more addictive than cocaine. WOW!!! I am doing it one day at a time and it is truly a struggle. Some days, I must admit having lost.
I was off of work for a total of four days and was oh so ready to get back here this morning. Today hasn't been as bad as I anticipated (thank God). There isn't a whole, whole lot of work for me to catch up on, but it's been enough to keep me busy. Which is a good thing when racing thoughts that won't quit appear. Well, my lunch hour is officially over. I will return to work and await the 5 o'clock hour.
4 weeks ago