In thinking about my job and what I do. I feel bad sometimes because I get paid regardless of my "work production." Whether I put forth my best foot, work hard or slack off and do nothing all day, my pay is the same. I say that now, but then I think about the days when I put forth my best at the moment and realize that it may not add up to what it should and am then reminded how I am glad I don't get paid for actual work worth :(. The past few weeks, actually couple of months, have been pretty bad. I would fire me if I were my boss. Thank God my bosses don't feel that way!!! It has to get better.
I have prayed for direction and guidance when it comes to my career. Here lately, my health has been a constant thought in my mind at work. I come to do a job that will help promote my company. For eight hours of the day, that is all I have to do. At one time I considered myself to be the biggest benefit amongst all the other employers. Not being cocky or arrogant, but my work ethic is such that it stood above the rest. Right about now, I don't know and for me that is a problem. It shouldn't be too hard right? I have 16 other hours left in my day to do whatever else I want to except for maybe an hour and a half that is spent preparing for work and actually getting there.
I must admit that I am feeling better. Although this post reflects my true feelings, my soul feels a whole lot better about things. I think I am coming out of the last exacerbation and I thank God for that. I can see normal most of the time. I am dealing with the fatigue a little better now. I initially started this post early last week, but never got a chance to finish and submit it until now (took time to finish until now). I am doing so much better now. I think in time things will get even better. Patience is the key I guess.
5 weeks ago