Finally Able to Relax

Good morning! It is Friday. The weekend is here. I had a good week, thankfully. I was very busy. I now know for sure when I start my part time job. I am excited about going back to that infamous job. It has been a while. There are people there that I haven't seen in a while so it should be good. I do think a little about the effect of working another four hours a day on top of my normal eight will have on me. I think it will be okay because it is just sitting down on and talking on the phone. I don't talk that much on the telephone at home and home is a more relaxed setting, but it is not like I am lifting heavy blocks for four hours straight. The good thing about this job is that it is very flexible. Sometimes too flexible, but I am positive all in all.

The temperatures or slowly declining here in SC and I want to do a little dance every time I hear the weather report now. I simply can't tolerate the heat. Thinking back on my childhood, my heat tolerance went out the window at about the age of 10 or 11. Before then, I could stay in it all day and play extemely hard while in it, but I remember that all changed at around 10ish.

My days are way less stressful these days. I of course am thankful for that as well. One of my favorite quotes is the one about doing something different to get something new. I am applying it to my daily life in small steps. I am truly a work in progress! My husband and stepson are engaging in activities that weeks ago would have me headed into a relapse head on from the stress of worrying and trying to control the situations, but I realize now that my life is not about what they do. I can only control my own actions. Both of them are very intelligent men (man and young man I should say), they know what they are doing and they just have to deal with the consequences of their actions in the event that there are some. Thankfully, they are not doing anything illegal I must say.

I head toward my weekend reading The South Beach Diet again and thinking about giving two weeks of my sugar filled life up to start a positive change. I have a lot going on in this head of mines that I purposely want going on right now, lol. Sometimes since MS, I don't control what's going on, but today, right now - I do!!! My plan is to just chill and relax for a minute.

The Good Life

GOOD MORNING! I AM AT WORK A LITTLE EARLY SO I DECIDED I WOULD GET SOME THOUGHTS OUT EARLY AND KIND OF SET THE PACE FOR MY DAY. IT IS ALREADY QUITE WARM OUTSIDE. I WAS OUT OF BED RATHER EARLY AND I MADE ME BREAKFAST, OPENED THE BLINDS TO MY PATIO TO GET MY FIRST LOOK OUTSIDE FOR THE DAY. MY VIEW IS NOT THE BEST AND I ACTUALLY BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT THE NEED FOR ME TO LIVEN UP MY PATIO A LITTLE. UPON FIRST MOVING INTO THE COMPLEX THAT I AM IN, I SET UP IT UP TO MY COMFORT. I HAD A LITTLE CHAIR OUT THERE AND SOME PLANTS (MY PANSIES). WITHIN A COUPLE OF DAYS SOMEONE HAD STOLEN MY CHAIR. THAT KIND OF KILLED THE FIRE THAT HAD BEEN IGNITED FOR MY PATIO. THIS MORNING IS OFF TO A GOOD START. I TALKED TO MY HUSBAND FOR A LITTLE WHILE LAST NIGHT AND WE ARE CONTEMPLATING LIFE AND REMEMBERING HOW THINGS ONCE WERE. WE ARE PRAYING FOR GOD'S WILL TO BE DONE. I MISS MY HUSBAND AND MY SON (STEPSON) DEARLY I TRULY DO, BUT YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT IF YOU WERE TO SEE ME IN ACTION. I DO THINGS JUST FOR ME NOW THE WAY THINGS ARE. I GO TO BED WHEN I WANT, GET UP WHEN I WANT TO, I DO IT ALL JUST FOR ME. IS THAT SELFISH OR IS IT ME LOVING ME AND NOT TAKING ANY STUFF FROM ANYONE ELSE. IS IT FAIR TO MY SON, IS IT CREATING SOME SORT OF COMPLEX FOR HIM AND HIS LIFE. WHAT IS IT? I CALL IT THE GOOD LIFE RIGHT NOW. I KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND AND SON ARE HAVING TO DEAL WITH A DIFFERENT KIND OF LIFE THAN THAT I HAVE, BUT SHOULD I BE WORRIED OR FEEL GUILTY? I DON'T REALLY KNOW AND IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, MY THOUGHT PROCESSES WILL TURN OFF AND I WILL SIMPLY THINK ABOUT WORK FOR THE NEXT EIGHT HOURS, BUT RIGHT NOW THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT ARE ON MY MIND. THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR. I LOVE THEM BOTH AND I LOVED OUR LIFE. STRESS IS A THING THAT MS LIVES TO THRIVE ON AND I WANT TO ELIMINATE IT ALL FROM MY LIFE. I WILL!

SOMETHING THAT HAS CAUSED ME GREAT STRESS IN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS NOW IS THE FACT THAT I LOST $10. IT IS KILLING ME NOT TO KNOW WHERE IT IS. I FEEL THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT ALL PEOPLE DO AND $10 ISN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE OR BREAK A PERSON, BUT IT IS STILL $10. I WANT TO PURCHASE A NEW SWIFFER SWEEPER, BUT REFUSE TO UNTIL MY COUPONS FROM SWIFFER ARRIVE IN THE MAIL. WELL, LOSING THAT $10 EQUALS UP TO MY SWIFFER PURCHASE. BAH HUMBUG! I HATE WHEN I LOSE ANYTHING A NEEDLE, MY WAY WHEN FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS AND ESPECIALLY THAT $10. HOPE YOUR DAYS I GOOD AS I TREDGE MY WAY TOWARD THE GOOD LIFE!!!