Thursday Morning Thoughts!!!

I am here because of the Lord. I am very thankful for that! I have been experiencing some health issues due to MS. I am just getting through yet another relapse. At first, I was kind of depressed about it, but realized  that I am still HERE. It is because of my still being here that I can only be  thankful and happy.

My latest relaspe rendered me very unsteady on my feet (just had one in June of this year so this one kind of suprised me). I was literally bouncing off the walls at home and at work. I went out and purchased my very first cane. It has helped tremendously. I carry it everywhere I go now. It just so happens to be kind of trendy too. I remember years ago when my mom had to first use one. It was kind of unsightly as well as pretty heavy. The one that I purchased kind of has a pinkish tint to it. It is very light weight and I kind of just zoom through whenever I am using it. I am thankful that this didn't send me into deep depression or anything of that sort. I am just happy at the little bit of independence it further allows me.

I have been trying to eat better and exercise a little more. It was going pretty good. I think I kind of got off track when the doctor prescribed prednisone to help with my most recent exacerbation. It wasn't because of the medicine causing an increase in my appetite, but it was me causing an increase in my appetite. You know how sometimes when you know the potential side effects of a drug, you experience the side effect simply because you know of it. I know that prednisone has caused me to have an increased appetite in the past so I kind of increased it myself in eating whatever I wanted to eat and blamed it on the prednisone mentally. That was my fault. I can't place the blame on the medicine there. I feel better and actually have more energy from the workout videos I was doing. I stopped doing them once my balance had gotten so bad that I risked tumbling over. Hopefully in the days to come, I can start back. It is much cooler here and I am thankful for that. I am going to start walking in the mornings before work. It is extremely hard for me to get out of the house when I get home from work. I figure if I do it first thing in the morning, by the time things come up to distract me or stop me, it will be already done. We will see how it goes. I had lost eight pounds, but am sure to have gained some of that back. Getting back on track as I type and chew on my 15 almonds for my mid-morning snack.

This is just a side note. The other night my heart was so very heavy. I was worried about a few things that I didn't know any easy solution for (actually I didn't even know a hard solution). I prayed to the Lord that night and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I was so much lighter. I thank God that he knows us. He loves us. He is our Father and only wants good for us. I didn't and still don't know the answers to some of the problems, but I find comfort in knowing that God has all of the answers. I trust Him and know that everything will be just fine! Nothing is too big for Him and because of that, I find peace. I love the Lord. I am so thankful to be a child of His. Whatever you may be facing, be it a health situation, marital, financial, anything no that He can handle it. Just give it to Him and walk away knowing that it will be taken care of.

Holidays 2010

I said before I even started to type that this would not be an entry in which I complained. I am thankful to be alive and healthy enough to still be functioning. Christmas 2010 was pretty good. I didn't get the chance to go home to see my mom because I am dead smack in what I hope is the end or at least the middle of a relapse. I am having problems with the left side of my face. I guess that makes sense because the lesions on my brain from MS are in the right temporal lobe region. I am well so I am ok. I just wish that these relapses would be nonexistant. I guess I could increase the chances of them being so by taking my Betaseron shot as I am supposed to and not when I feel like I need to. I simply hate that they make me feel, act and just plain make me dumb. I have asked others whether or not their MS drug of choice "dumbs them down" and a couple of people have agreed. I thank God for the wisdom he has given me. I hate being a complete idiot in regards to something that I know a great deal about just because I am preventing a relapse. Call me crazy or whatever you want to, it just doesn't make me feel very good. I look forward to the New Year. I don't think I am going to make any grand New Year's Resolutions. I may, but I may not. Thankfully, I don't have any school work as we have three weeks off before the new semester starts. Considering that I am at work and the fact that I left some of my brain at home still in bed this morning I will end here. I just wish I was a millionaire sometimes and work wouldn't be as important to me nor would the fear of waiting for social security to tell me whether or not I am going to be able to pay my bills and continue to live without having to go on government assistance as I await a determination of whether they feel I am eligible to not work anymore.