Tuesday, December 14, 2010


It has been some time since I posted anything. I have been busy with everything and nothing at the same time. I do miss my little outlet that blogging provides. I have been busy with life. I have been working, doing the home life/wife/mother thing, doing school work, still mourning my dad's death and just being. I think work, although it's only eight hours a day, is the most time consuming thing in my life right now. When I am away from work, I think about my return to work and all that it involves. My job isn't important by the world's standards, but any job that pays my bills are important by my standards and because of that, I take it very seriously. I must say too although that I can't wait to be off for the Christmas holidays come next Thursday. Also, our time starts all over again on January 1st as far as vacation and sick time. Two weeks vacation and six sick days is what I will be entitled too and I am so happy about that. I wonder what I am going to do upon completing my schooling as I certainly would hate to leave this company. I don't think there is any room for a counselor at a law firm, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. I think I am having a harder time now than I did in the beginning regarding my dad's death. Of course I think of him all the time, but it seems as of lately, I am having some problems with the fact that he is not here. I have problems with the fact that I have all these things I want to tell him, but am unable to. I will be making a trip to my hometown soon to see my mom, my brother and of course out to the cemetary. I used to write a whole lot more than I do now, but I will be returning to that as soon as possible. I think that will help me some, but I guess there is nothing like the loss of a loved one. I have endured death as an adult, my grandparents and a cousin as well as a few other deaths, but none have quite affected me like this one. I think about my daddy every single day at least every single hour. I miss him so much. So much of the last year and a half was spent with him alone at the hospitals and now it's all over. I am so much happier for him being at peace and all, but it leaves a void. I pray and I actually talk to him sometimes. It's hard, but I know I am and will continue to be. My dad used to say "As sure as we're born, we all must die." In the first few days after his death, that was a constant tune in my head - My hearing him say that. All in all, I am okay. Just busy. Sometimes, I think oh wow, I am so busy and I will be doing absolutely nothing. I guess it's more mental than anything. I'm good though - miss my writing here so I will hopefully be back on it!!!

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