I have had my MS diagnosis for some time now. What I do know for sure is what I can and can not do. I also know that although we have made great strides in finding a cure for this terrible disease, we have a long way to go. I also know that some days will undoubtedly be better than others. I know that some people will never understand and for every one that won't, there will be two who won't even care enough to understand it. I know that although they will never say it, my loved ones sometimes get tired of the fact that I am in bed at 6 o'clock on a Saturday night, of the fact that I don't won't to nor probably could walk the entire mall or the fact that I know longer can do some of my favorite things because I have either forgotten or just can't do them any longer. I am 33 years old. I should be living it up, right? I mean I have never really travelled or done many fascinating things. I like to read so books take me away to distance places, but that's about it. Haven't been to the museum in years. The last movie I saw was in black in white. LOL - just kidding with that one, but it honestly feels like years ago. I don't even really go out to eat a lot at nice restaurants. I will admit that my family and I will drive thru somewhere pretty frequently to pick up a bite, but that is because I don't feel like cooking and we have to eat to stay alive. These are all personal choices. I have turned down many opportunities to do these things. Why? I really am tired. My tiredness isn't like the regular person's tiredness it is cruel and unusual. I feel like I am toting people around on my back sometimes - maybe a mother and her 2 year old or perhaps the father. It is truly something. With all of that being said, I am however, thankful for the good days. Happy about times when I feel like I don't even have MS. I am thankful for those people who call me at 12:45 am to tell me they just heard some good news in MS research. I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful that I can still walk, talk and see. I am thankful for a lot, but those were a few things that are certainly clear to me!