Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Watch What You Say To Me!

The words of others make an incredible impact on one's life. I’ve always heard how we should be mindful about the things we speak over ourselves because there is power in our words. I’ve read scripture in the Bible about it even. I try to be very mindful of such. However, when others say things, we have no control over them. Just the other day a coworker of mines spoke some words to me and I am still yet, a couple of days later impacted by them.

It was Monday and I was having a good day. I resolved to look at Mondays as the blessing that they are some time ago as opposed to “Dreadful Monday.” I had a bounce in my step (even though it was a little too far off to the right – balance issues). I was going through my day in a wonderful way. I passed by her office and she and I started a conversation. She mentioned the fact that I could be having more relapses here lately because I was trying to do too much. I mentioned the fact that if I started doing less, I would begin to feel ill more often according to past times. I think part of the reason that I am able to still do as much as I do in spite of MS is because I WANT to do it. I think sometimes there is a mental component to any diagnosis. Her comment caused a whirlwind of thoughts to flood my mind and they still do. It made me question what I it exactly that I am actually doing. Am I making a great effort at being great or am I making a bad attempt to make things look as if they are okay when they are in fact not so okay? Should I be home in bed or at least relaxing and not worrying about the day to day stress of trying to do my job in order to make my life easier? Could my health be in a better condition if I stayed home and lived off of social security disability benefits? These are all questions that flood my mind right now. All of it started with a few well intentioned (I hope) words of a coworker. She said them and probably had forgotten them just as soon as she said them, but they stick with me still yet – even today. I just wish we could censor what others put out. I know I have the personal choice of how I let what others say impact but, but just to be able to require others to think about even simple statements they make would be awesome.

2 comments:

  1. Tammy, the hardest part of living well with MS is finding the right balance between enough and too much. Are you taking on more than your fair share, perhaps to prove to yourself or others that you still can do it all? Or are you really just doing your job? When you are alone, do you take time to relax and do things that are fun? Or are you always looking to do for others to get 'out of yourself'?

    I'm glad you're doing well. Take care.

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  2. Thanks Webster for posting questions that made me stop and think. I think I am doing a pretty good job of balancing it all. I take time in the mornings to pray and have devotional time and there is a period of time right after work where I have two and a half hours to my self every day where I am alone with myself. I get to relax and read and just be before every one gets home. I think I am doing an okay job at all overall. I have MS and you know how we have good and bad days, but overall I'm okay.

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