Fatigue!!!

GOOD MORNING! IT IS FRIDAY AND THE WEEKEND IS UPON US. I DON'T HAVE MANY MAJOR PLANS, BUT I DO PLAN TO RELAX AND LAY LOW AS MUCH AS I CAN. MICHAEL'S SISTER IS HAVING A GOING AWAY CELEBRATION AT ONE OF THE LOCAL PARKS SO HE AND I WILL ATTEND THAT ON SATURDAY, BUT THAT IS ABOUT AS MUCH AS I AM GOING TO DO. I WILL VISIT WITH MY DAD OF COURSE AND I WOULD LIKE TO GO UP AGAIN TOMORROW TO VISIT MAMA, BUT I AM NOT SURE YET ABOUT THAT. IT DEPENDS ON HOW I FEEL FOR THE MOST PART I GUESS.



HOME LIFE WAS QUIET LAST NIGHT. WE ALL CAME BACK TO THE APARTMENT AND I WENT STRAIGHT TO BED. I DIDN'T REALIZE IT, BUT I WAS EXHAUSTED. I WAS ON A CALL YESTERDAY HERE AT WORK WITH AN INSURANCE REP. THE CALL WAS ABOUT 30 MINUTES LONG. WHEN WE WERE DONE, SHE SAID "HONEY, YOU MAKE SURE YOU GET SOME REST THIS WEEKEND." I TOLD HER I WOULD, BUT ASKED HER WHY SHE THOUGHT I NEEDED SOME. SHE SAID I CAN HEAR HOW TIRED YOU ARE IN YOUR VOICE. THAT SUPRISED ME BECAUSE I FELT FINE, BUT AS SOON AS SHE SAID IT AND AS SOON AS I HUNG UP THE PHONE WITH HER, IT SEEMS LIKE THE HEAVIEST WEIGHT FELL UPON ME. I WAS SO TIRED THAT THE REST OF MY DAY WAS IMPACTED BY IT. SO MUCH SO THAT WHEN I WALKED IN THE DOOR OF THE APARTMENT, I FLOATED OFF TO BED AND DID NOT GET BACK UP UNTIL THIS MORNING AT THE SOUND OF THE ALARM. I AM TIRED, JUST PLAIN OLD TIRED. IS IT MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS THAT IS CAUSING ALL OF THIS TIREDNESS, PERHAPS, BUT I THINK A LOT OF IT COMES FROM MY MENTAL STATE OF THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. IT COMES FROM A LOT OF THINKING. I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE WEBSTER'S ADVICE AND DO NOTHING FOR A WHILE. IT MAY BE A LITTLE LATE WHEN IT COMES TO MY HUSBAND AND MICHAEL COMING TO LIVE WITH ME, BUT THE THINGS THAT I HAVE CHANGED ABOUT MYSELF WILL NOT CHANGE WITH THEM BEING THERE. HE HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR YET ANOTHER HOME LOAN AND WANTS ME TO GO LOOK AT HOUSES WITH ME. THOSE THAT ARE CLOSEST TO ME KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HOME OWNERSHIP. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AND THIS WOULD BE TIME TO GET THE CAR GASED UP TO GO LOOKING, BUT I JUST DON'T FEEL INTO IT. I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS BECAUSE OF THE HEAT AND ALL THAT IT ENTAILS FINDING A GREAT HOME, THE MEANING OF JOINING HIM IN HOUSEHOOD AGAIN, OR THE LOSS OF MY "FREEDOM." ALSO THERE IS MY DREAM OF BUILDING A HOME ON MY PARENT'S LAND. WHO KNOWS WHERE TOMORROW WILL TAKE US, BUT WE WILL SEE.

SIDENOTE - I RECEIVED AN EMAIL OF HOW MY BLOG MAY NOT BE UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING OTHERS. IT WAS ABOUT HOW BLOGS WERE TO INSPIRE AND GUIDE. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE PREVIOUSLY SAID THIS OR NOT. I AM DOING THIS FOR ME! RIGHT NOW IT IS FOR "ME" AND IS AN ONLINE JOURNAL OF "MY" THOUGHTS FOR "ME", THAT I AM HAPPY TO SHARE AND OPEN UP TO ANYONE WHO HAPPENS UPON IT. I AM SORRY THAT IT IS NOT AS DEEP OR PHILOSOPHICAL AS SHE WOULD HAVE LIKE, BUT IT IS FOR "ME" AND WHAT I CAN GAIN FROM IT. I NEED IT RIGHT TO BE WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW FOR "ME". I PERHAPS WILL REACH A POINT WHERE I CAN UPLIFT AND INSPIRE OTHERS, BUT RIGHT NOW I NEED IT FOR ME. HERE IS THE WORD THAT I NOTICE I USE A LOT, BUT IF IT IS "SELFISH" OF ME, THEN I APOLOGIZE, BUT I NEED IT.

Olivious Life

Good morning! I am well into my Thursday here at work and things are pretty good. I am in an overall good mood. Michael is a lot better, my dad is doing better and I feel pretty good this morning.



I have noticed over time that I am oblivious to a lot of things. I have been oblivious to the fact that I am overweight. I go shopping and don't have a problem getting clothes that fit from the plus size section most times. I range from a size 16 to an 18 depending on the maker and what it is that I am wearing. I am healthy when I go to my doctor's appointments when it comes to my cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar levels, triglycerides, and all the other things that I have checked by choice and necessity twice a year. I eat basically what I want. I like salads some days with nothing but lettuce and a light vinaigerette and on those days I call it dinner. On other days I want a big juicy cheeseburger where the juices flow down my arm when I pick it up to bite into it with some crinkle cut french fries on the side(Ore Ida are my favorite). I also am oblivious to the fact that I am a little abnormal in my thought processes, likes and dislikes and just who I am altogether. I don't go with the grain on a lot of things. I have my own little world going on up in my head. I am oblivious to the fact that I am fairly happy and have been all the time. I think a lot, but it seems that I haven't been thinking deeply enough. What one feels is a phase, I adapt as who I am when it truthly was just a phase for me too. Confusing I know!, but it's true. My job is a good job. I rarely complain about it, but when I do I shouldn't cause it's a pretty good job. The things in life that have me wondering are simple things. My faith allows me to know that this too shall pass! It always have in the past and it always does!!!

Your next rocket scientist!

I just figured out how to do it. Duh, Tammy! You make stuff harder than it has to be.

Technology

I feel like a rocket scientist right now. I think I've figured out how to post from my phone. Now if I could figure out how to add pictures, I'd be dangerous!

La la land

I AM OFFICIALLY IN LA LA LAND. I TEASED MY BROTHER ABOUT HOW SOMETIMES MY BRAIN HAS ME FEELING LIKE A SMURF, WALKING AROUND SINGING THAT SONG "LA LA LA LA LA LAAA LAAA LAA LA." WELL TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS. MY FAMILY WAS BACK TOGETHER AGAIN AT MY APARTMENT LAST NIGHT. IT WAS NICE, BUT I AM WAITING FOR SOMETHING AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT. I GUESS THAT IS THE NEGATIVITY THAT ALWAYS COMES. I AM AFRAID OF IT TO TELL THE TRUTH, BUT IT MAY NEVER SHOW UP. THAT WOULD BE GREAT IF IT DOESN'T. WHERE IS MY FAITH RIGHT? I AM DEALING WITH SOME LEFT SIDE NUMBNESS THAT I HOPE IS ONLY WHERE I SLEPT WRONG AND NOT A SYMPTOM OF MS. EITHER WAY IT GOES, I AM ALIVE AND THANKFUL FOR THAT. NOT A LOT TO SAY TODAY AS I SAID I AM IN SMURFVILLE!!!

Sometimes when you don't have all the answers and you don't know what to do. You just do because you have no other choice. A while back I left my home and I started out anew on my own without the loves of my life (my husband and son (technically stepson)). I got me an apartment on the other side of town, told no one about it and started living my life stress-free. Well, fast forward to now and I think they are about to come live with me, lol. Life is truly something. I mean, of course I care about the both of them and of course my stress level has been down. I mean in a world alone, who would have stress right? I mean my parents are still a big concern of mines, but they don't directly impose stress in my life. I have spent a couple of days with my husband at my place and things haven't been so bad. I mean we laugh, we talk, we even cooked together. I know there will be an influx of dirty laundry, more dishes to wash, more groceries to shop for, but I don't seem to mind that. I actually spend about the same amount of time in the grocery store as I did when we were one big happy family. I think that's attributed to my love of food (especially ice cream). I actually thrive on that kind of stuff. The thing that I couldn't put up with is the childish behavior of my husband, the drinking and "thugging." He declares that he understands now and has made the change.Because our vows are sacred to me and the fact that I know he loves me without any doubt in my mind, I can only believe he is telling the truth. I declare that if he isn't I might make the national news, but time will tell I suppose. We have built a life together over the last 12 years and I am at my breaking point I think. I think Michael going into the hospital has had a lot to do with it too. Time will only tell with me I must forewarn because by the end of the day I may have the mindset of "Ummmm no they are not coming to my serene space to kill the peacefulness there..." Is that selfish? yes, do I know it? yes, Will it make a difference? Who knows!

Monday is my friend today!

It is Monday. I am not complaining one bit. I had a great weekend. It was hot, but that didn't prevent me from doing so. On Friday, I spent a little time on me that was enough to rejuvenate myself. I didn't do a lot. I walked for a while and I actually went shopping for bathroom stuff. It was therapeutic. I think sometimes I take for granted the little things and get caught up on other things. These other things aren't necessarily big things, but just other things. Like that $10 bill I lost a while back, lol. I used to always look at Monday as Oh my goodness it is Monday again, but not so much anymore. I am happy to be amongst the living as the old folk used to say. Monday is a fresh start to a brand new work week. It is a good day for tomorrow is Tuesday and it's necessary to get the week going. I am in a good place today. I am thankful for that.


So back to my weekend. Okay on Saturday, I didn't do a whole lot of anything. I did my usual hospital stuff. Michael was released from hospital. He is still laying around a lot. I had to get on him to make him get up and walk around. He is just sleeping a lot and the doctor wants him to "move." He says he is not feeling bad, but that there is nothing else to do. So I definitely can't wait until he spends a week in the country with Randy. Sunday I did make it "home." It is always great to spend time with mama and see my brother.

Last night Tony and I ate dinner that he cooked. He cooked at my apt. YES - HE NOW KNOWS THE LOCATION OF MY APT. He is trying so hard. I still think about how I am selfish and not wanting him to be a part of my life for more than a few hours per day and how unfair and unchristian like that is. I am praying about it and dealing with it. He has stopped doing those things that I asked him to so when he asked if he could come over. I honestly could not think of a reason for him not to come over. So we will see what this leads to. I do love him and he is my husband to have and to hold. You know how the rest goes.

I hope today unfolds into a beautiful day for everyone. It is way hot outside, but the hotter it gets, the sooner we will reach fall hopefully!

Another Day!

GOOD MORNING! I AM UP AND AT WORK ALREADY. I WAS AIMING FOR 8 BUT GOT HERE AROUND 8:10. SO I AM 20 MINUTES EARLY AS OPPOSED TO THE 30 MINUTES THAT I WANTED TO BE. IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE 101 DEGREES TODAY. THAT IS HOT. I AM GOING TO BE IN QUITE A BIT OF THE DAY, BUT STILL. I AM TIRED AND I MY DAY JUST REALLY STARTED. NOT MUCH ELSE GOING ON EXCEPT FOR THE ROUTINE OF WORK, HOSPITAL AND HOME. I WILL BE SO HAPPY TO ALLEVIATE HOSPITAL FROM THE LINE UP. IT IS BEGINNIGN TO TAKE A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF MY DAY, BUT I WOULD RATHER GO TO THE HOSPITAL THAN TO MOST OTHER PLACES BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE MY DADDY AND MICHAEL ARE FOR RIGHT NOW. MY DADDY IS DOING A LOT BETTER WHICH PROVES TO ME THAT DOCTORS DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING. THEY TRIED VERY HARD TO PUSH ME INTO BELIEVING IT WOULD BE BEST FOR US TO ALLOW HIM TO DIE. HE IS STILL ALIVE AND DOING GREAT THINGS EVERYDAY. IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE HE IS ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE ICU. THAT IS GREAT TO ME. ALTHOUGH WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT, I WOULD ACTUALLY RATHER HE STAYED THERE BECAUSE THE TREATMENT IS BETTER THERE. EACH NURSE HAS AT MOST TWO PATIENTS WHEREAS ON THE NEXT FLOOR HE GOES TO EACH NURSE IS ASSIGNED SIX PATIENTS. BIG DIFFERENCE THERE TO ME. I FEEL GOOD ALL IN ALL. I AM TIRED, I STUMBLE EVERY NOW AND AGAIN WHEN I GET UP, BUT I VERY RARELY FALL THANK THE LORD, BUT IF I DO I KNOW HE IS RIGHT THERE TO HELP ME BACK TO MY FEET.

WOW!

I JUST READ THIS A FEW MINUTES AGO FROM MY DAILY INSPIRATIONS GIVEN TO ME IN MY MY WORK EMAIL INBOX FROM JOEL OSTEEN AND HAD TO SAY WE GET WHAT WE NEED WHEN WE NEED IT!!1

TODAY'S SCRIPTURE
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"
(Isaiah 40:31, NIV).

THANKFUL!

I HAVE BEEN BUSY HERE LATELY. MY SON IS ALSO IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MRSA. HE HAD A BUMP UNDER HIS ARM THAT WE THOUGHT WOULD EVENTUALLY GO AWAY. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, HE HAD BACTERIA IN HIS BLOOD THAT TURNED OUT TO BE MRSA. HE IS STILL IN THE HOSPITAL FOR IV ANTIBIOTICS UNTIL SATURDAY. MY DAD IS STILL IN THERE AS WELL SO BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM, I AM ABOUT DEAD, LOL. SERIOUSLY I JUST WOULD LIKE TO SAY I AM THANKFUL FOR WHERE I AM AND WHAT I AM. I AM THANKFUL FOR THE GOOD TIMES AS WELL AS THE BAD. THE ROAD SEEMS ROUGH SOMETIMES, BUT I HAVE MADE IT OVER MANY BUMPS BEFORE SO IT WILL BE JUST FINE. I AM TIRED I KNOW THAT MUCH AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE MS, I THINK RIGHT NOW I WOULD BE TIRED EVEN IF I DIDN'T HAVE IT. MS DOESN'T HELP AT ALL I KNOW, BUT I AM ENDURING A LOT WITH MY SON, MY DAD AND EVEN WITH MY COUSIN-IN-LAW WHOM I TOOK TO THE ER AT LUNCH(ALTHOUGH HOPEFULLY HERS WANT BE A BIGGY). I INCLUDE HER DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT IS A LOT OF HOSPITALING GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, LOL OR BOO HOO HOO ACCORDING TO WHEN AND HOW I THINK ABOUT IT. ONE OF MY COWORKERS TEASED ME AND SAID THAT I WAS SURROUNDED AROUND SICKNESS. SHE IS RIGHT REALLY IT SEEMS, BUT IT'S ENOUGH TO SHOW ME WHAT I CAN - DO. SO I WILL PICK UP FROM WHERE I STOPPED, CATCH MY BREATH AND KEEP ON KEEPING ON! HAVE A GREAT DAY ON PURPOSE!

The Good Life

GOOD MORNING! I AM AT WORK A LITTLE EARLY SO I DECIDED I WOULD GET SOME THOUGHTS OUT EARLY AND KIND OF SET THE PACE FOR MY DAY. IT IS ALREADY QUITE WARM OUTSIDE. I WAS OUT OF BED RATHER EARLY AND I MADE ME BREAKFAST, OPENED THE BLINDS TO MY PATIO TO GET MY FIRST LOOK OUTSIDE FOR THE DAY. MY VIEW IS NOT THE BEST AND I ACTUALLY BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT THE NEED FOR ME TO LIVEN UP MY PATIO A LITTLE. UPON FIRST MOVING INTO THE COMPLEX THAT I AM IN, I SET UP IT UP TO MY COMFORT. I HAD A LITTLE CHAIR OUT THERE AND SOME PLANTS (MY PANSIES). WITHIN A COUPLE OF DAYS SOMEONE HAD STOLEN MY CHAIR. THAT KIND OF KILLED THE FIRE THAT HAD BEEN IGNITED FOR MY PATIO. THIS MORNING IS OFF TO A GOOD START. I TALKED TO MY HUSBAND FOR A LITTLE WHILE LAST NIGHT AND WE ARE CONTEMPLATING LIFE AND REMEMBERING HOW THINGS ONCE WERE. WE ARE PRAYING FOR GOD'S WILL TO BE DONE. I MISS MY HUSBAND AND MY SON (STEPSON) DEARLY I TRULY DO, BUT YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT IF YOU WERE TO SEE ME IN ACTION. I DO THINGS JUST FOR ME NOW THE WAY THINGS ARE. I GO TO BED WHEN I WANT, GET UP WHEN I WANT TO, I DO IT ALL JUST FOR ME. IS THAT SELFISH OR IS IT ME LOVING ME AND NOT TAKING ANY STUFF FROM ANYONE ELSE. IS IT FAIR TO MY SON, IS IT CREATING SOME SORT OF COMPLEX FOR HIM AND HIS LIFE. WHAT IS IT? I CALL IT THE GOOD LIFE RIGHT NOW. I KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND AND SON ARE HAVING TO DEAL WITH A DIFFERENT KIND OF LIFE THAN THAT I HAVE, BUT SHOULD I BE WORRIED OR FEEL GUILTY? I DON'T REALLY KNOW AND IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, MY THOUGHT PROCESSES WILL TURN OFF AND I WILL SIMPLY THINK ABOUT WORK FOR THE NEXT EIGHT HOURS, BUT RIGHT NOW THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT ARE ON MY MIND. THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR. I LOVE THEM BOTH AND I LOVED OUR LIFE. STRESS IS A THING THAT MS LIVES TO THRIVE ON AND I WANT TO ELIMINATE IT ALL FROM MY LIFE. I WILL!

SOMETHING THAT HAS CAUSED ME GREAT STRESS IN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS NOW IS THE FACT THAT I LOST $10. IT IS KILLING ME NOT TO KNOW WHERE IT IS. I FEEL THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT ALL PEOPLE DO AND $10 ISN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE OR BREAK A PERSON, BUT IT IS STILL $10. I WANT TO PURCHASE A NEW SWIFFER SWEEPER, BUT REFUSE TO UNTIL MY COUPONS FROM SWIFFER ARRIVE IN THE MAIL. WELL, LOSING THAT $10 EQUALS UP TO MY SWIFFER PURCHASE. BAH HUMBUG! I HATE WHEN I LOSE ANYTHING A NEEDLE, MY WAY WHEN FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS AND ESPECIALLY THAT $10. HOPE YOUR DAYS I GOOD AS I TREDGE MY WAY TOWARD THE GOOD LIFE!!!

FEELING PRETTY GOOD

TODAY IS TUESDAY AND I AM FEELING PRETTY GOOD. NO PARTICULAR REASON. I HAVE A NEW ATTITUDE LIKE THE SONG. I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER REASON TO BE HAPPY THAN THAT OF WANTING TO. IT IS TUESDAY AND TOMORROW IS WEDNESDAY. I AM AT WORK WITH ONLY ONE HOUR AND SEVEN MINUTES LEFT IN THE DAY. I AM GOOD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHALL HAVE FOR DINNER, BUT THAT IS ABOUT THE BIGGEST CONCERN OF MY DAY. ALL ELSE I GIVE TO THE LORD AND THANK HIM FOR FIGHTING MY BATTLES FOR ME. I KNOW NOT WHAT TOMORROW HOLDS, BUT I AM THANKFUL THAT THERE IS HOPE FOR TOMORROW. THIS MAY SOUND CLICHE, CRAZY OR JUST PLAIN BORING OR DULL, BUT I AM GOOD TODAY - I AM FEELING PRETTY GOOD!

I AM STILL HERE

IT IS MONDAY ONCE AGAIN. I HAVE DECIDED TO STOP DREADING MONDAY AS BAD AS I DO AND TO START APPRECIATING EACH NEW DAY. TODAY STARTED OFF KIND OF ROUGH FOR ME. FIRST, I HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OUT OF BED. I WENT TO BED FAIRLY EARLY AND I THINK THAT WAS THE PROBLEM. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS SAID YOU CAN GET TOO MUCH SLEEP. WELL, I THINK I DID. I WAS UP IN TIME TO MAKE IT TO WORK EXCEPTIONALLY EARLY, BUT WASN'T ABLE TO. I MADE IT LIKE 12 MINUTES EARLY, BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. ONCE I GET TO WORK, THINGS THAT OTHERS DO STARTED TO FRUSTRATE ME. DURING MY LUNCH HOUR I GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT, RAN LATE COMING BACK AND AM JUST STILL WOE IS ME RIGHT NOW. GUESS WHAT THO? BECAUSE OF MY NEW OUTLOOK ON SIMPLY "BEING HERE," I WEAR A SMILE ON MY FACE. INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT WHAT THE NEXT MINUTE IS GOING TO BE LIKE. IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD. I AM STILL HERE SO I KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE AND A SKIP IN MY STEP. GOD IS TOO GOOD FOR ME TO BE STRESSED, MISERABLE AND UNHAPPY IN ANY WAY. I LOVE THE LORD AND HE LOVES ME. THAT IS ALL I NEED. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! I WILL IF I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO DO SO :)!

MADE IT TO FRIDAY, NOW WHAT

FINALLY, FRIDAY IS UPON US. I HAVE BEEN DYING FOR THIS DAY ALL WEEK. WHAT SHALL I DO WITH MY WEEKEND. I FEEL PRETTY WELL - THANKFULLY. NO COMPLAINTS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE NORMAL ONES. I HAVE ABOUT TWO BAGS WORTH OF BOOKS ON HOLD AT THE LIBRARY SO THAT WILL BE THE FIRST PLAN OF MY NEXT THREE WEEKENDS. I ONLY REQUESTED FICTION BOOKS THIS TIME. I AM USUALLY ALWAYS READING SOMETHING SELF-IMPROVEMENT TYPE. WHEN I GET DONE WITH WORK TODAY, I AM GOING BY THE HOSPITAL TO VISIT WITH DAD FOR A GOOD LITTLE WHILE. MONDAYS THRU THURSDAYS TYPICALLY DON'T ALLOW FOR A WHOLE LOT OF TIME AS BY THE TIME I GET OFF OF WORK, THE HOURS IN ICU ARE ABOUT OVER. THANKFULLY, WE GET OFF EARLY ON FRIDAYS SO I WILL GET TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIM TODAY THAN TYPICALLY. AS OF THE LAST FEW DAYS, I AM SEEING MORE OF HIS OLD SELF COMING TO SURFACE. I AM GLAD OF THAT. NO MAJOR PLANS OTHERWISE. I WILL VISIT HIM, VISIT MY HUSBAND AND STEPSON FOR A WHILE PROBABLY ON SATURDAY OR MAYBE EVEN TODAY AND VISIT MY DAD AGAIN ON SUNDAY. NOT A WHOLE LOT GOING ON IN THIS BRAIN OF MINES RIGHT NOW AND I AM TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. NORMALLY I HAVE A MILLION THINGS AND A HALF GOING THROUGH ALL AT THE SAME TIME ALL WITH THE SAME URGENCY! I AM THANKFUL FOR TODAY!

The little things!

It has been a couple of days since I have been on to write anything. There have been quite a few things going through my mind. I have been working with my thoughts so that's why I haven't written. I am in about the same place, but am working so when I work, it forces me to get back to things that I hold important to me.

This morning I had the pleasure of speaking with someone newly diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. What a wonderful conversation it was - at least for me. I don't know what she took from it, but it is amazing how much I gained from her. Each person with MS gets it in a different way than the other. I think the hardest thing for her as well as myself was the fact that others don't understand it. I was telling her how I myself feel when I go out to WalMart and park in a handicap parking space and see people behind me drive my and later get out of there car with a wheelchair. The looks on their face is that of - You aren't disabled because I don't see your wheelchair. It is amazing to me how people who are total strangers are able to be so insensitive. It is also amazing that people who care and love us most are also insensitive as they don't have the slightest clue of it all! Well, considering I am at work, I will finish this post later on, but I had to get this much out!