Life Choices

Here it is Monday again. I am contemplating things that I can do to make my life better. I wonder about a lot of things, but the most important things center around family. I worry and care about my mom, dad, brother, husband, son, and inlaws as well as my other relatives. I also worry about what my own personal future holds. I guess I shouldn't use the word word - so I will say care. There has got to be a better way and this week I began another new quest. A quest to get me there - wherever there is! I just know that there is so much to my life than what I am giving so I am going to seek inwardly to find that place and develop it for myself.

The question is how can I make life better for me and therefore for them.

This week I will pursue -

1. Further education
2. Part time job or volunteer opportunities
3. Physical fitness

I could go on with more, but I think it best to start with those 3. I hope this blog serves as a reminder to focus on and finish those areas to completion with plans. We will see what they force me to do.

Today when I get home, I will begin my search online for the education, work and volunteer aspect of this all. Physical fitness actually began this morning as I walked around the track at the high school across the street from my complex.

Let's see what tomorrow brings!!!

I AM STILL HERE

IT IS MONDAY ONCE AGAIN. I HAVE DECIDED TO STOP DREADING MONDAY AS BAD AS I DO AND TO START APPRECIATING EACH NEW DAY. TODAY STARTED OFF KIND OF ROUGH FOR ME. FIRST, I HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OUT OF BED. I WENT TO BED FAIRLY EARLY AND I THINK THAT WAS THE PROBLEM. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS SAID YOU CAN GET TOO MUCH SLEEP. WELL, I THINK I DID. I WAS UP IN TIME TO MAKE IT TO WORK EXCEPTIONALLY EARLY, BUT WASN'T ABLE TO. I MADE IT LIKE 12 MINUTES EARLY, BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. ONCE I GET TO WORK, THINGS THAT OTHERS DO STARTED TO FRUSTRATE ME. DURING MY LUNCH HOUR I GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT, RAN LATE COMING BACK AND AM JUST STILL WOE IS ME RIGHT NOW. GUESS WHAT THO? BECAUSE OF MY NEW OUTLOOK ON SIMPLY "BEING HERE," I WEAR A SMILE ON MY FACE. INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT WHAT THE NEXT MINUTE IS GOING TO BE LIKE. IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD. I AM STILL HERE SO I KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE AND A SKIP IN MY STEP. GOD IS TOO GOOD FOR ME TO BE STRESSED, MISERABLE AND UNHAPPY IN ANY WAY. I LOVE THE LORD AND HE LOVES ME. THAT IS ALL I NEED. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! I WILL IF I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO DO SO :)!

RUSHING TO THIS VERY DAY RIGHT HERE

Wow, this work week has finally come to an end. It was sooooo hard to get out of bed this morning. The internet is becoming my foe, but I love it so. I remember being little and being told that with a book, I could go anywhere in the world and be anyone in the world. That was the beginning of my love affair with books. Today fastforward 25 years and a new love affair is blossoming with the internet. I know I am a little late, but now I actually have time to spend on it. I say that to say. I can do so much and find out new things everyday. Within minutes, I know more about any given subject than I did before.

This morning, I contemplated calling in. I am dealing with this fatigue and anything that isn't laying in my bed/couch is draining. Even thinking is draining. I didn't call in and am feeling pretty good about it. I made it in. As the programs I will be working with this morning get ready, I release to you my thoughts. MS is really a sucky disease because when people look at you, you look well. Wow, if you only new what was going on on the inside. I feel fine a good portion of the time, but I don't a good portion of the time too. I think something about me makes me pull up my bootstraps as is said and press on. It is easier sometimes to portray the image of feeling, being well. RIGHT NOW I AM COMING TO GRIPS WITH THE FACT THAT MY FUTURE IS BLEAK AND BECAUSE OF THAT I AM GOING TO LOOK DEEPER INTO WAYS I CAN HELP FIGHT FOR A CURE WITH THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE.

Not a whole lot planned for the weekend. I am soooo happy and this should have been my first sentence. I received some fairly good news from the nurse taking care of my dad yesterday. He was going to be released from the ICU after 67 days and placed on a regular floor, but because he would receive better, specialized care there, his doctors decided to let him stay in the ICU for a while. I am glad they did that. He is special to me and therefore needs the specialized care even if he doesn't require it. I will visit with him during lunch and after work today. I am supposed to travel to Rock Hill tomorrow to help Stacy move to Charlotte. I feel better now about leaving town with my dad still in the hospital. I think had I not received this good news, it would have been harder for me to go.

I love my sister-in-law to death and any things that makes her life easier makes me smile. I wish things were different where we were free to live life with no restraints. No work, no obligations other than to be free. We both have like minds and could be doing so much in the world. We have had countless conversations about finding our purpose and taking on the world, but have not gotten very far because of some of our constraints. Stacy is better than I am of living life without being bound by self-imposed limitations. I am striving to get better.

I have made it to work. It is 10:22 a.m. right now and through some pauses I have completed this post. I am off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of work! Have a great day and a great start to the weekend!!!