Don't know how to call it!!!

I am here. I am just not conscious of it it seems. My daddy is not doing very well. I know a lot of bad father stories, I guess I may even know a couple of bad fathers, but I am blessed to say that my daddy has been a great father since the time I was born. I was a premature baby and I am reminded of stories from my youth of how he would go to work at midnight, work all night and stop by the hospital to see every day. His health has been failing over the last few months and each time we see positive results, something negative follows right behind it. This time it is pretty bad and the doctors are suggesting that we have hospice come in. Which means they would stop feeding him and just "keep him comfortable." I don't like the stop feeding him part because it reminds me too much of perishing a person to death. Our mother has been under hospice care four times in the past and each time she makes an astonishing recovery. I have faith that my father may do it, but the doctors keep pushing the quality of his life and what he has endured and what they look forward to him enduring. I don't want him to suffer. I don't know what to do at this point and that's why I am leaning on the Lord. He is my source of strength and wisdom right now.

I must say that while enduring all of this, I kind of forgot that I have MS. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.