Sunday, December 6, 2009

HERE I AM!

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE. I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THIS, BUT NEVER REALLY HAD A REASON. I ADMIT TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT I HAVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. MY MOM HAS IT, MY BROTHER HAS IT AND I TOO HAVE IT. I SAY TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I HONESTLY AM GOING TO ATTEMPT TO STOP BEING THE SUPER WOMAN THAT I HAVE CREATED IN MY MIND. I DON'T THINK THAT MY FAMILY AND FEW FRIENDS LOOK AT ME TO BE THAT SUPER WOMAN, BUT SHE IS SOMEONE WHO I HAVE CREATED. THE WORKING WOMAN WITH A GOOD JOB, TAKE CARE OF HER FAMILY AND HOME WOMAN THAT WON'T STOP FOR ANYTHING. I HAVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AND IT HAS REALLY HIT ME THAT I HAVE IT. I HAVE HAD MY DIAGNOSIS FOR A WHILE NOW. I THINK I WAS IN DENIAL ABOUT HAVING IT AND I THOUGHT FOR SOME STRANGE REASON IT WASN'T IMPACT MY LIFE MUCH. I WOULDN'T LET IT STOP ME FROM MY DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS. I WON'T SAY THAT IT HAS STOPPED ME AT THIS POINT, BUT I AM GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME TO EVALUATE THINGS. MY MIND DOESN'T WORK THE SAME AS IT USED TO AND THAT IS WHY I WON'T BE STARTING CLASS "AGAIN" IN THE FALL. I KNOW PEOPLE WITH CERTAIN DISABILITIES CAN DO ALL THINGS AND EVEN I BELIEVE THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR ME. I AM TIRED, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. I HAVE TRIED FOR SO LONG TO BE EVERYTHING, TO DO EVERYTHING. NOW I SLOW IT DOWN A BIT AND IF THAT MEANS LOSING CERTIAN THINGS THEN SO BE IT. IF IT MEANS LOSING CERTAIN PEOPLE, THEN SO BE IT. I HAVE TO SLOW DOWN. I AM NOT THE PERSON I WAS WITHOUT MS. ONLY IF I COULD TELL THE STUDENT LOAN COPORATION ALL ABOUT IT. I PRAY TO BE ABLE TO CONTINUE TO WORK AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. I PRAY TO CONTINUE TO DRIVE AND TAKE CARE OF MY SOON TO BE 16 YEAR OLD SON. I PRAY FOR A LOT OF THINGS, AND I WILL DISCUSS THEM HERE. I HAVE APPOINTMENTS WITH MY NEUROLOGIST, PYSCHIATRIST AND FAMILY CARE DOCTOR AND I AM SURE SOME OF THAT WILL MAKE IT HERE TOO. MY SISTER-IN-LAW STACY, WILL BE THE FIRST TO READ MY BLOG. SHE MAY BE THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES, LOL! I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I READ THAT IT IS EASIER FOR OTHERS WITH MS TO SEE WHEN THINGS ARE IN ALL CAPS. I HOPE THIS ISN'T A PROMBLEM FOR OTHERS. I USED TO BE SO CONCERNED WITH TYPOS AND WHAT NOT, SO I HOPE THAT THERE AREN'T A LOT HERE, BUT IF THERE ARE FORGIVE ME! I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS MAKING SENSE, BUT A LOT OF MY LIFE LATELY HASN'T MADE SENSE. I HAVE MS!!!
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3 comments:

  1. TammyDecember 6, 2009 at 10:15 PM

    This was created earlier today. I don't know the first thing about what I am doing! Lol, that may not be hard to tell. I forgot to include so much earlier. Oh well, I will get all out eventually!

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  2. mshopefulJuly 23, 2010 at 10:29 PM

    Hi Cousin,

    Am I the first??? Doing the "Happy Dance"!!! First, I really respect you for doing this blog. Sometimes it just makes you feel better overall.
    I will say that I don't know what you're going through with MS but with a faith as strong as yours, God will see you through. So, keep ya head up, and remember to always put God and yourself before all else.

    Love you,

    Cousin Lynn

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  3. TammyJuly 30, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    Thank you so much Lynn! There is so much I don't know and I am slowly reading stuff on how to get certain things done, lol. I have a lot of thoughts and this is a good way to get them all out for me. I have invited a good many to follow me and you are the only one who has from my invite and I thank you for that! Some support system, huh? Lol, I know some are just leary when it comes to this, but thanks cousin!!! You are the bestest!!!

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